Tried Therapy Before and It Didn’t Work? Here’s Why

If you've tried therapy before and it didn't help you make any lasting changes, or any changes at all, it can be a lonely place feeling like you're stuck with your pain forever. The truth is, there are many reasons therapy might not have worked in that season of your life: the timing, the type of therapy, or even the therapist themselves. As a trauma therapist in Las Vegas offering EMDR therapy, Ketamine Assisted Therapy, and Psychedelic Integration, I often work with clients across Nevada, New Jersey, and Colorado who come to me after past therapy felt flat or incomplete. Sometimes it isn’t that therapy “doesn’t work,” but that you haven’t yet found the approach that works with how your brain and body process.

Why the Client/Therapist Relationship Matters

Research is clear: if you don’t like your therapist, therapy is unlikely to succeed. Rapport is what is referred to when therapists talk about the client/therapist relationship and it includes many different aspects.

When You Just Don’t Click With a Therapist

People often overlook this aspect because it feels judgmental to say they don't like someone "just because." But when we like a therapist there are many small factors at play that you might not realize, and not liking a therapist doesn't mean you or they are bad, sometimes people just don't click.

Authenticity: A Therapist Who Feels Real

When your outer expression matches your inner experience it looks a lot like transparent communication, honest sharing of thoughts and feelings, and a vulnerability to be a human and not a detached professional. Authenticity creates a space for everyone to be their true selves and engage in deeper work.

Being genuine and real is something you can feel coming from your therapist. Don't second guess yourself, if you don't sense it then it's okay to look for someone you feel that with.

Active Listening

A therapist is paid to listen. Of course we can forget things and not remember every detail, but there's no excuse for a therapist who is consistently not present (I'm being nice with the "consistent" part). I've heard horror stories of therapist's literally on their phones during sessions... that's pretty obviously bad. Other small things to note include the therapist's body language, their use of asking questions to clarify or expand their understanding, and summarizing the points to show genuine engagement.

Empathy in Therapy: Feeling Seen and Accepted

In therapy we call this "unconditional positive regard" which means we always look for things to like and respect in our clients. It would be really something to find someone who you like 100% of everything about, and I'd be lying if I said that I've agreed with 100% of my client's views or choices. That unconditional acceptance means that I don't have to agree with someone to help them figure out and untangle the trauma or pain that brought them into my office.

Empathy is being able to sit with someone in their experience, including their pain, without rushing to solve, rescue, or change them. It’s about offering presence, understanding, and validation so you don’t feel alone in what you're carrying. When you come to therapy you want change, of course, and empathy is the first step to understanding the pain you've been carrying.

Working on Goals Together

Finding a therapist who works with your goals is important. If you are trying to go one way and your therapist is going another it will be hard to build that client/therapist relationship that is crucial to healing.

Talk to your therapist about your goals and make it clear what you want to achieve, and if you don't know open up that discussion and get their take on where they think you could start working. The key here is open communication so everyone knows what road is being taken.

Building Trust and Safety in Therapy

Trust and safety kind of goes without saying, but I'll say it anyway. If you don't trust your therapist and feel safe with them, then you will get nowhere good for all the time and money spent with them. The thing is, when you first start therapy you might not trust or feel safe with ANYONE. It's ok to keep tabs on this one and see how it opens up with time - as your therapist consistently shows the key elements above, can you feel trust growing - even a little? With the other elements in place trust and safety has the room to grow.

Timing Matters in Therapy

Ever just not been in a good place to do something but later the timing was right? Therapy can be like that, and at times we aren't ready to start talking about trauma. One good example is kids in foster care who are mandated to therapy, who are often not ready to process what's happening and come back to therapy in their mid-20's when they have time and space from the experience. Life experience and changing views can put us in better places to go back and talk about things later. Bottom line: if something is coming back up in your life again, maybe it's time to address it now.

Types of Therapy I Offer

There are so many types of therapy out there and it's possible you haven't found the one that works with your brain and how you like to process yet. Training also matters, and how your therapist applied their skills has a lot to do with how much experience they have and if they were trained with an accredited program or certification body that ensures high standards of practice. The list is exhaustive and if you have questions about a type of therapy please reach out, I'll leave you with the types I personally offer.

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing)

A research-backed therapy for trauma and distressing memories. Gold standard training is EMDRIA approved.

While I don’t currently offer separate Somatic or IFS therapy, EMDR naturally weaves in elements of both. It is deeply body-based, helping you notice how painful memories or beliefs show up physically (a tight chest, a sinking stomach, a racing heart) and then gently release that stored tension. It also shares common ground with IFS in the way it allows different “parts” of you to be acknowledged and healed without judgment. Through eye movements or gentle tapping paired with mindful awareness, EMDR supports your nervous system as you process and re-file difficult experiences.

Who tends to be drawn to EMDR: People who want relief from “stuck” memories or body reactions, who prefer a structured process over open-ended talk, or who feel traditional therapy hasn’t shifted the deeper layers. EMDR often appeals to those who value efficiency, clear protocols, and a focus on the mind-body connection.

CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy)

A structured, skills-oriented approach that helps you notice and reframe unhelpful thoughts, experiment with new behaviors, and build healthier coping tools. Quality training comes from university-based or certified CBT institutes, like the founding BECK institute.

Who tends to be drawn to CBT: People who want practical tools and clear strategies to shift unhelpful thought patterns or behaviors, who appreciate structure and step-by-step guidance, or who are looking for skills they can apply right away in daily life. CBT often appeals to those who prefer goal-setting, measurable progress, and a more time-limited, action-oriented approach.

Psychedelic-Assisted & Integration Work

Uses carefully guided experiences (such as ketamine or other legally available medicines) to loosen stuck patterns and deepen healing. Equally important is integration that helps you make sense of insights and bring them into daily life. Because safety is key, your provider should have advanced training and follow current ethical and medical guidelines. Programs with strong academic, ethical, and clinical oversight include Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies (MAPS), Fluence, Integrative Psychiatry Institute (IPI), CIIS (California Institute of Integral Studies) – Center for Psychedelic Therapies and Research, and Polaris Insight Center.

Who tends to be drawn to Psychedelic Therapy: People who feel traditional therapy hasn’t gone far enough, who are seeking deep insight or release from long-held patterns, or who want support making sense of past psychedelic experiences. Psychedelic integration often appeals to those who value meaning-making, spiritual growth, and safe guidance as they bring insights from expanded states into everyday life.

Ready to Try Therapy Again?

If past therapy left you feeling unseen or unchanged, that doesn’t mean you’re beyond help, it just means you may not have found the right fit yet. My practice specializes in trauma therapy for adults who are tired of just “getting by” and want lasting relief.

Whether you’re drawn to EMDR, want practical CBT tools, or are curious about psychedelic integration, I offer a safe and collaborative space to find what works for you.

I see clients in-person in Las Vegas and online throughout Nevada, New Jersey, and Colorado. If you’re ready to explore therapy that goes deeper and meets you where you are, you can book a consult today or learn more about my approach at Thrive Well Therapy.