What Happens to the Nervous System After Spiritual Abuse?

If your chest tightens when someone starts quoting Scripture...

If a worship song makes your stomach drop...

If the word “obedience” makes your shoulders tense...

That’s not weakness. It's your nervous system doing what it was trained to do: protect you.

For people healing from spiritual abuse, it’s common to feel stuck. Your body reacts like you are still in danger, even when your mind knows you are safe. That doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It means your body remembers what it had to survive.

This isn’t about overreaction. It’s about protection.

Let’s talk about what’s actually happening inside you and why those old reactions still show up.

What is Spiritual Abuse?

Spiritual abuse isn’t just about being hurt by someone religious. It happens when shame, fear, or control are used in the name of faith. Often, it comes from the people you trusted most.

Harmful Messages That Shape Belief and Safety

It might have sounded like:

• “God won’t bless rebellion.”

• “Submit (to your leaders, to your husband) and trust God with the outcome.”

• “Don’t cause your brother to stumble.”

These messages were often delivered with love, wrapped in promises of safety or salvation. But the impact was real. And your body felt that impact, even if your mind couldn’t name it.

Your Nervous System: A Closer Look

How the Body Reacts to Danger

Your nervous system is a fascinating system designed to keep you safe.

When your body senses danger, it reacts immediately. Your heart races. Your legs tense. Your stomach stops digesting. All your energy goes toward one goal: survival.

After the danger passes, a healthy nervous system settles. Your heart slows. Your stomach might growl again. Your body returns to a state of calm and connection.

But when you’ve experienced trauma, especially the kind that isn’t tied to one moment but happens over time, like spiritual abuse, your nervous system may not return to calm so easily. It stays on alert, scanning for signs that you might be unsafe again.

In trauma therapy, we know that the nervous system is deeply tied to our ability to heal. An activated system is always trying to protect you, even if the threat isn’t real anymore. Even the hint of a threat can be enough to sound the alarm.

When the central nervous system becomes alarmed, it reacts automatically. These reactions are fast. You don’t get to choose them, your body chooses for you. Some people have a default pattern, while others find that their reactions vary depending on the situation or the trigger.

Common Nervous System Responses to Threat

Flight: Urge to Escape or Avoid

One common response is flight: the urge to run, escape, or avoid. You may feel the need to get out of the room, change the subject, or shut down the conversation entirely. Your system is trying to protect you by leaving.

Fight: Anger or Defensiveness

Others might go into fight: becoming tense, defensive, or suddenly irritable.

Freeze: Numbness or Shutdown

Some drop into freeze: feeling numb, blank, or frozen in place.

Fawn: People-Pleasing to Stay Safe

A fourth response, fawn, may show up too, where you people-please, stay agreeable, and disconnect from your own needs to maintain a sense of safety.

These responses aren’t failures. They’re proof that your nervous system was working exactly as it should. And they are especially common in people recovering from high-control religious environments, where fear and obedience were used to regulate behavior and belonging.

“Why Am I Still Reacting Like This?”

It’s a painful question. It's also a very common one.

“I left that church years ago. Why does my body still feel like it’s not safe?”

Because trauma doesn’t only live in your memory. It lives in your body.

How Experience Overrides Logic

Your nervous system doesn’t measure logic. It measures experience. And when your body says, “We’ve been hurt here before,” it prepares to protect again. Even if you know you’re safe, your body needs time and care to believe that too.

How Therapy Helps Your Body Feel Safe Again

You don’t need to force yourself to move on. You don’t need to “get over it.” What you need is safety, space, and someone who can help your body come back to itself.

That’s what this work is about.

Together, we take it gently. Slowly. In your time. We build new patterns of safety and connection, using tools like:

• EMDR to help your nervous system process old wounds so they no longer control your present.

• CBT to untangle beliefs rooted in shame, fear, or guilt.

• Somatic and mindfulness work to bring you back into your body in ways that feel safe and steady.

• Psychedelic integration for clients who choose it, supporting deep processing of altered states with care and intention.

There is no rush. No pressure. Just space to notice what you’ve been carrying and begin to set it down.

Gentle Tools You Can Use Right Now

If your system is feeling overwhelmed, here are a few ways to ground:

• Name your surroundings: Look around and name 5 things you can see, 4 you can touch, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell, and 1 you can taste. This brings you back to now.

• Breath with hand on heart: Place your hand over your chest. Breathe in slowly. Let yourself feel your heartbeat. Say quietly, “I’m safe now.”

• Move your body: Walk. Stretch. Shake out your arms. Movement helps your nervous system release stored energy and reconnect to the present.

For more up to date grounding and resourcing tools check out my new playlist on YouTube that will be updated weekly.

You’re Not Broken. You’re Breaking Free.

The things you are struggling with are not signs of failure. They are signs of a nervous system that worked hard to protect you. You adapted beautifully to survive what you went through. Now your healing is about showing your body it doesn’t have to stay in survival mode forever.

Take the Next Step (Call to Action)

You don’t have to keep bracing. You don’t have to keep holding your breath.

You can rest. You can reconnect. You can heal.

When you’re ready, I’m here.

Book a free consult if you’re ready to begin. You don’t need to have it all figured out. You just need a place to start.

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About Rachel Hansen, LCSW

Rachel Hansen founded Thrive Well Therapy in Las Vegas, and is a trauma therapist specializing in religious trauma, emotional regulation, and nervous system healing. She works with adults across Nevada and New Jersey to process spiritual abuse, rebuild self-trust, and reconnect with the parts of themselves they were once taught to hide.

Rachel brings both clinical expertise and lived experience to the therapy room. She uses EMDR, CBT, and psychedelic integration therapy to support clients in moving through pain and toward clarity, connection, and peace. Clients describe her as steady, nurturing, and real, someone who holds space without pressure, and walks with you through the messy parts without flinching.

When she’s not in session, you can find her sipping tea at sunrise, hiking the Nevada mountains, or finding beauty in the sacred chaos of a life lived awake.