IFS vs EMDR: What’s the Difference and How They Work Together in Trauma Therapy

What’s the difference between Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) when it comes to treating trauma? In this post, we’ll explore how IFS and EMDR therapy work, what they look like in therapy, and how these two powerful approaches can complement each other — especially for healing trust issues, anxiety, and healing from trauma.

What Is Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS)?

IFS is often used in trauma therapy and is especially powerful for people who feel torn inside or struggle with trust issues in relationships. Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a type of therapy that helps you understand and heal your inner world by seeing your mind as made up of different “parts.” Think of it like having a whole inner family — each part has its own thoughts, feelings, and jobs.

Key Ideas in IFS:

• We all have parts – like a perfectionist, an inner critic, a people-pleaser, or a scared child. They're not bad — they’re trying to help in their own ways.

• There’s a core “Self” inside you — calm, compassionate, and wise. IFS helps you reconnect with that Self so it can lead your inner system.

• Parts carry burdens – like shame, fear, or old pain from the past. IFS helps those parts release those burdens so they can relax and feel safe again.

What Does IFS Therapy Look Like?

Instead of just talking about your problems, you start talking to your parts. A therapist might say:

“Can you check in with that anxious part and ask what it’s afraid would happen if it stopped worrying?”

It’s like guided self-discovery — curious, gentle, and often really powerful. IFS helps you understand yourself deeply, heal old wounds, and feel more whole — not by getting rid of parts, but by listening to them, helping them, and letting your calm Self lead the way.

IFS Metaphor: The Bus

Imagine your mind is like a bus, and all your parts are passengers. Some are loud, some are quiet, some try to drive the bus when they’re scared.

• The Perfectionist might be gripping the wheel, trying to avoid failure.

• The Angry Part might be yelling from the back.

• The Anxious Part might be freaking out about the route.

• And somewhere on the bus is a hurt little kid who got lost years ago and just wants to feel safe.

At the center of it all is your Self — calm, clear, confident.

IFS therapy helps you gently say,

“Hey, thanks for your help, but you don’t have to drive anymore. I’ve got this.”

Everyday Example: People-Pleasing

Let’s say you always say yes to people, even when you’re exhausted.

• In IFS, that behavior likely comes from a protector part — maybe a People-Pleaser who believes your safety or love depends on being liked.

• Underneath that part, you might find a younger “exile” part who felt rejected or unloved in the past.

• IFS helps you talk to the People-Pleaser with compassion, understand why it took on that role, and eventually unburden the pain it’s been protecting — so you can say no without guilt.

Just like IFS, EMDR also supports the nervous system in healing from past pain — but it approaches it in a different way.

What is EMDR Therapy and How Does it Work?

EMDR therapy is a widely researched and effective approach for PTSD, anxiety, and trauma-related symptoms. It supports nervous system healing by helping the brain reprocess painful memories. EMDR is a powerful therapy that helps people heal from trauma, anxiety, and stuck memories — without having to talk about every detail. It uses bilateral stimulation (like eye movements, tapping, or sounds) to help your brain reprocess painful memories so they no longer feel overwhelming.

Key Ideas in EMDR:

• Your brain is wired to heal — just like your body heals a cut.

• But trauma or distressing events can get “stuck” in the nervous system.

• EMDR helps “unstick” those memories so your brain can finish healing.

It’s like pressing play on a frozen emotional moment so it can finally complete and move on.

What Does EMDR Therapy Look Like?

• You identify a memory or issue that still causes distress.

• You hold that memory in mind while doing something that stimulates both sides of the brain — like following the therapist’s fingers with your eyes.

• As you do this, your brain starts connecting the dots, shifting how the memory feels, and often replacing old beliefs (“I’m not safe”) with healthier ones (“I’m okay now”).

You don't have to relive every detail - your brain knows what to do.

EMDR Metaphor: The Filing Cabinet

Imagine your brain is like a filing cabinet. Most memories get filed away properly — they make sense, and they don’t bother you.

But traumatic or painful events can get misfiled. They're messy, disorganized, and anytime something reminds you of them, the drawer flies open and it feels like it’s happening all over again.

EMDR helps your brain refile those memories — calmly, clearly, and in the right place.

When the memory comes up again, it's just a memory - not a flood.

Everyday Example: Anxiety After a Car Accident

Let’s say you got into a car accident years ago, and now you feel anxious just sitting in a car.

• EMDR would help you go back to the memory in a safe, guided way.

• You’d recall the feelings, images, and body sensations while doing eye movements or tapping.

• Over time, that memory becomes less distressing, and your body stops reacting like you’re still in danger.

Many people feel lighter, calmer, and more free — sometimes in just a few sessions.

IFS vs EMDR: How Do These Trauma Therapies Compare?

Both IFS and EMDR are effective types of trauma therapy that help people access and heal unresolved pain. They just use different tools — parts work vs. memory reprocessing. Let's break it down side-by-side so you can really feel how IFS and EMDR often do the same inner work in different ways. We’ll walk through the same issue using both therapies and compare what’s happening under the hood.

Issue: Social Anxiety (Fear of Being Judged)

You feel anxious in social situations, constantly overthinking what people think of you, and maybe avoiding events altogether.

In IFS:

You explore your inner world:

1. Meet the “Anxious Part”

   You notice a tight feeling in your chest before a party. You get curious about it. It’s a part of you that says, “If people judge me, I won’t be safe.”

2. Find the Protector

   You find another part that makes you avoid social situations altogether — maybe it shuts you down or makes excuses.

3. Discover the Exile

   Beneath it all is a younger part (an exile) that once felt rejected or humiliated — maybe in middle school or by a parent.

4. Bring Compassion and Healing

   From your calm, wise Self, you comfort that younger part. Over time, it releases the shame it’s been carrying — and the protectors don’t feel so urgent anymore.

In EMDR:

You target a specific memory:

1. Choose a Target Memory

   You pick a painful moment — maybe when classmates laughed at you in 7th grade. That’s your starting point.

2. Activate the Memory Network

   You recall the image, emotion (“I’m embarrassed”), negative belief (“I’m not good enough”), and body sensation.

3. Use Bilateral Stimulation

   As you follow the therapist’s fingers (or tap or hear tones), your brain begins reprocessing the memory.

4. Desensitize and Install New Beliefs

   Over time, the memory loses emotional charge. You shift to a positive belief like: “I’m okay as I am,”and your nervous system starts reacting differently in the present.

So, How Are They Similar?

Both help you access the real root of the problem (not just surface symptoms). Accessing the old wounds is the first step - with IFS you talk to the part holding the pain, and with EMDR you target the memory where the pain is held.

Both trust the brain/body's natural healing intelligence. IFS helps parts release burdens and feel worthy, and EMDR replaces negative beliefs with more adaptive, positive beliefs.

Both can lead to powerful, lasting change — without retraumatizing. IFS uses self-energy to calm and connect with the self, and EMDR uses bilateral stimulation to help reduce stress. With EMDR re-processed memories and negative beliefs no longer hijack the present. With IFS the unburdened parts become allies.

Both involve some form of “inner reprocessing” (IFS = emotional, EMDR = neurobiological). IFS engages protector parts and gains their trust, and EMDR pauses when defenses show up and works around them safely.

Now let’s look at what happens when these two approaches are combined in a real therapy session.

Blending EMDR with a Parts-Informed Approach

We don't have to look at it as IFS vs EMDR. While EMDR doesn’t require formal parts work, many therapists integrate it with a parts-informed lens — especially when working with clients who have complex trauma or trust issues in therapy. Let’s walk through a blended IFS + EMDR session to show how these two therapies can work together, like a dance between inner parts work and brain-based processing.

Let’s stick with the social anxiety example, where someone has a fear of being judged.

1. Start with IFS: Connect with a Part

The therapist might begin in an IFS style:

“Can you check in with the part of you that gets anxious around people?”

You tune in and find a tightness in your chest — an anxious part. You might say:

“It’s scared I’ll be rejected.”

The therapist helps you connect with it, thank it for its protective role, and ask what it’s protecting.

2. Discover a Memory (IFS leads to EMDR)

That part shows you an old scene — maybe getting laughed at in class.

Now, instead of continuing in IFS, the therapist switches gears:

“Would it be okay to gently process this memory together using EMDR?”

You’ve found the target memory naturally through parts work — now you're ready to reprocess it.

3. EMDR Reprocessing: Bilateral Stimulation

You hold the memory in mind:

• The image: classmates laughing.

• The emotion: shame.

• The belief: “I’m not good enough.”

Then you start bilateral stimulation (eye movements, tapping, etc.).Your brain begins to reprocess. New associations start forming. Maybe a later moment arises — when someone defended you, or when you found your people in college.

4. Back to IFS: Talk to the Part Again

Once the distress has dropped (say, from a 7/10 to 1/10), the therapist might return to IFS:

“Let’s check in with that anxious part again. How is it feeling now?”

The part might say:

“I feel less scared. Like maybe not everyone will judge me.”

Now you can help it unburden the shame it was holding — maybe imagining it releasing that weight or stepping into a new role (like being playful, confident, or protective in a healthy way).

Why Blending IFS + EMDR Works So Well

• IFS prepares the system — especially if there are protectors blocking access to trauma.

• EMDR processes the trauma — efficiently and deeply, once access is granted.

• IFS integrates and soothes — helping parts update their roles and trust the Self.

• You move between the emotional, relational, and neurological layers of healing — all in one flow.

 

Ready to Heal from Trauma and Rebuild Trust?

You don’t have to do it alone. If you’re struggling with trust issues, anxiety, or past experiences that still live in your

body and mind, EMDR can help you gently process those wounds — at your pace, with care.

I specialize in trauma therapy using EMDR and a parts-informed approach. If you’re ready to explore nervous system healing and find relief from anxiety, let’s talk.

💬 Curious about what this could look like for you?

📅 Let’s talk. I offer free consultations — you’re welcome to reach out and see if we’re a good fit.

Book a session or contact me here — healing starts with connection, and you don’t have to be fully ready to begin.

You’re not broken. You’re healing — and that healing starts with trust.