Breaking the Cycle: How to Rebuild Trust in Yourself & Others
- Rachel Hansen
- Apr 1
- 4 min read
Updated: Apr 15
Rebuilding trust isn’t easy, but it is possible. Here’s how to rebuild trust in yourself and others—so relationships can feel safe again.
Trust isn’t something you just decide to have—it’s something that’s built.
And for you, it’s been broken before.
Maybe someone betrayed a promise. Maybe love came with conditions. Maybe the people who were supposed to protect you couldn’t—or wouldn’t.
Now, trust feels like a risk.
You crave deep, meaningful relationships, but something keeps getting in the way. You overthink, pull away, or test people to see if they’ll really stay. And even when someone does show up for you, you can’t shake the fear that they’ll leave, lie, or let you down.
It’s exhausting. And you’re ready for something different.
Rebuilding trust isn’t easy, but it is possible.
Healing starts with learning to trust yourself first—so that trust in others can come from confidence, not fear.
How the Cycle of Distrust Forms
Trust issues don’t just happen. They’re shaped by past experiences, including:
Childhood Trauma
Growing up in an environment where trust was broken—through neglect, inconsistency, or betrayal—teaches your brain that people aren’t safe.
Betrayal or Infidelity
When someone you love breaks your trust, your brain stores that pain and starts anticipating future betrayals—even from people who haven’t hurt you.
Emotional Neglect
Not feeling seen, heard, or valued in key relationships makes you doubt whether you matter—and whether others can be relied on.
Toxic or Controlling Relationships
Experiencing manipulation, gaslighting, or cycles of harm conditions you to expect the worst in relationships.
When trust is broken enough times, your nervous system goes into protection mode. It convinces you that no one is truly safe—and so, even in relationships where trust could be possible, it’s hard to let your guard down.
But trust isn’t about blind faith. It’s about learning who and how to trust—wisely, carefully, and from a place of strength.
How to Start Rebuilding Trust
Healing doesn’t mean trusting everyone. It means learning to trust wisely—both in yourself and in others who have earned it.
1. Build Self-Trust First
If you don’t trust yourself, trusting others will always feel like a gamble.
Rebuilding self-trust means:
✔ Listening to your intuition—instead of second-guessing yourself.
✔ Keeping promises to yourself—even the small ones.
✔ Recognizing that your emotions and boundaries are valid.
Ask yourself:
Do I trust myself to make good decisions?
Do I believe I can handle life, even when things don’t go perfectly?
If the answer is no, that’s where the work begins.
2. Identify Your Triggers & Patterns
What makes you feel unsafe in relationships?
Is it when someone doesn’t text back right away?
When plans change unexpectedly?
When someone gets too emotionally close?
Your reactions often have deeper roots than the present moment. Learning to recognize and name your triggers helps separate past pain from present reality.
3. Give Trust in Small, Safe Steps
Trust doesn’t have to be all-or-nothing. It can be built in small ways:
✔ Sharing something personal and seeing how the other person responds.
✔ Allowing yourself to rely on someone for a small favor.
✔ Not assuming the worst when something feels uncertain.
Each time you take a small step, you reinforce the belief that some people can be trusted.
4. Learn the Difference Between Fear and Intuition
Sometimes, your brain sounds alarms when there’s no real danger. Learning to tell the difference between fear-based thoughts and genuine intuition is key.
Ask yourself:
Am I reacting to the present situation, or am I reliving an old wound?
Is this person actually showing signs of untrustworthiness, or am I assuming they will hurt me?
The more you practice, the easier it becomes to distinguish past trauma from present safety.
5. Work with a Therapist for Deep Healing
If trust issues are keeping you stuck, therapy can help untangle old wounds and create healthier ways of connecting.
✔ EMDR therapy can help process past betrayals and reduce the emotional charge they hold.
✔ Inner child work can help heal the parts of you that learned not to trust.
✔ Relational therapy can teach you how to build safe, stable connections moving forward.
Healing doesn’t mean pretending trust was never broken. It means giving yourself a chance to rebuild it—on your own terms.
Trust is Possible—Even After Hurt
Right now, trust may feel like a risk you’re not ready to take. And that’s okay. Healing doesn’t happen overnight.
But trust is possible.
You can build relationships that feel safe, steady, and fulfilling.You can trust yourself again.You can rewrite the patterns that have kept you stuck.
It all starts with one step.
Ready to Rebuild Trust? Let’s Start Together.
If you’re ready to break the cycle, I’m here to help.
I offer in-person therapy in Las Vegas and online therapy across Nevada and New Jersey.
Let’s start your healing journey together.
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